Good News: Danielle has finally returned from her month away from sweet, sustaining internet access.

Bad News: She and Rich start talking about cannibalism standards early on, so you may need to ascertain whether you're the eating or eaten type.

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Cider in Exile, Episode 4 of 4, aka "The Aftermath"

Sigh in relief: Danielle yet survives in the Canadian Wilds. Will she be able to find "Boy Wonder" Ryan North without the help of Technology? Will Rich tear this mother down when the final loads of return shipping from SDCC arrive, truly marking The Start of Christmas?

Shop for (Coffee & Cider)-Powered Goods

• Topatoco has created a combination store of Rich and Danielle's merchandise that, as Danielle says "puts all the cute shit in one place".

Cider in Exile, Episode 3 of 4

Our Intrepid Cider Scout Danielle continues her Internetless Canadian Adventure and Survivor-Refugee Rich drifts back onto the shore of civilization in the filthy wake of San Diego Comic-Con.

Above: the empty husk of a (former) pay phone bank.

Cider in Exile, Episode 2 of 4

Coming to you not-live and via Direct Distance Dialing involving zero computers and instead actual phones...it's Coffee & Cider's San Diego Comic-Con Not-So-Special! How has Danielle survived off the internet grid? Did Rich make it to San Diego, or did he get whacked? Voices from the recent past will tell you!

We were serious about the no computers or Skype thing, this was phones on both ends and sounds like it, but enjoy the charming, rustic world before computers. This is also why Rich assumes the audio is unusably loud on his end because he's used to having a microphone. Stupid Rich, what a quality snob.

Cider in Exile, Episode 1 of 4

On the precipice of our most dramatic phase of the show yet, wherein Danielle will literally be phoning it in but probably working ten times as hard as Rich in doing so, we contemplate the brink of living internet-free (Danielle) versus internet-rich (Rich, aka "Internet Rich").

Part 2 of "The Road to" Cider in Exile

Danielle finalizes plans for her voyage into the frying frozen north, and Rich successfully convinces himself to definitely probably absolutely not be 100% against maybe driving a van through the Cursed Lands of The South, preaching (some of) the Gospel of Jabba the Hutt.

How much does a case of Fancy Slave Leia Toys No One Wants go for these days?

TRIGGER WARNING: #nipples

Part 1 of "The Road to" Cider in Exile